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House 1411

"Hello? Hello?? I'm sorry, there's nobody home right now. [ obnoxious peal of laughter: go ]

Ahh, that's right! Leave a message, and I'll get back to you. Right? That's how it goes? Aha, no telemarketers, please!

If you run up my bill, I'll have to ask you to pay the extra costs.

[ BEEP ]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

[backdated]

Hi

hello carol
what can i do for you

I did a lot of really stupid things today
Could use someone to talk to

im all ears
or in this case, eyes
what happened?

Heine told me some things
I got stupid and scared and I went to see badou
And it went badly
I don't know why I expected anything else

what did he tell you?
heine i mean

That badou wants to die
He's gonna go back to that place
And throw his life away

he won't
you and i both know this
he'll survive

But he won't want to
And nill says he won't be the same
I know I should stop doing this
But I'm not made to just let these things happen

carol
i know you want to help
i know its what you do
its what you want to do in your heart
you have a very good heart

but this isnt our fight

Edited (wrong icon oops) 2013-09-22 06:59 (UTC)

I know

[but she can't stand to think any more about what she can't do, about what she can't stop, who she can't save. it's maddening and it hurts. she's so tired of it.]

Also I blew up some stuff
Trees mostly
Busted my hand a little

he's not going to change
his life is too deeply engraved in him for that
his hurt too deeply burned into his heart
nill told me he lives
and he gains an ally and a friend
for him and his own thats a great feat

come over
or meet me somewhere

[heine. they help, nill said. they're paid to, and it doesn't fix things, but they help.

that's something. it's something.]

Where
Isn't your wife home

iwaizake
i still have to close up
office is clean i promise

[she should hesitate -- this depressed, a place like that should feel toxic to her, too much of a temptation too close, a danger too real to go prodding at.

but carol finds that she doesn't want any of that. she doesn't even feel the pull. she just... wants to be near someone who understands her, and if that's where he is, then that's fine.]

Ok
I won't be long

[and she's not. it's a dark night; carol navigates by bright shopfronts and drops down from the sky in front of the one she knows to be sakamoto's -- seen, but never visited, not until now. she's cold, hadn't had the foresight to grab a jacket when she'd rushed out of the house, but the coldness isn't just from that.

the knuckles of her left hand are skinned and bloodied (the right with fingers still-splinted from the last time she felt too helpless, she hadn't wanted to risk making that worse).

the bell dings too cheerfully as she shoulders her way inside.]

[ he's already there to meet and greet her, rising from his spot by the register. the store lights are dimmed, the displays dark and lifeless for the night. he's little more than a man-shaped patch of shadow in the dimness, but he still holds a hand out to her in greeting, in invite. ]

This way.

[ said, as he turns on his heel, makes his way to the discreet door near the back of the shop, hidden behind stacked casks and displays. the back, leading to his office, his one spot of refuge in this town these days. that, at least, is well-lit. ]

[she accepts it, hand and invite, follows him inside without a word. carol knows she must seem a mess, she certainly feels like one, and there's really no use trying to explain any of it away -- not to him. he's seen her at her worst here, too many times now. what's one more time between friends?

(her best seems so far away; before this place, before the lesion. maybe she'll find that again, one of these days, to show him.)

in his office, she stands in the middle of it all, looking around the space, only half-noticing.]

So, uh. Nice place.

[ a person is never really at their best away from the things they try their hardest for. in that sense, none of them are really 'at their best'. they're lost, displaced, animals out of their natural habitat. they can only snarl and snap and bite, struggle, lash out like so many animals in a zoo, in a place they were never meant to be. tired would inevitably spin, nerves would inevitably wear down to thinness, to nothingness.

he waves carol to a chair, once the office door is closed behind them, directs her to one of the industrial folding chairs pushed up against the wall. as he does so, he's pacing to the cabinet on the wall. ]

It's a terrible little mess, but it's homey.

[ it's more home to him than 1411 is now. ]

Your hand, how bad?

Oh--

[the hand, she'd almost forgotten, looks down at it as if surprised to find it in the state it's in. crack open the landlord's head for me, badou had told her, that was how she could help, and carol had certainly tried. couldn't get to the house, though, couldn't do anything but find something to take it all out on. several defenseless trees had suffered. so had she.

she sits, shifts, stretches out her fingers. still bleeding a little, not badly.]

Not broken, I don't think. It's gonna bruise something fierce, though.

[ bruised knuckles, bleeding fingers, it's a sight he's familiar with. it speaks a little of frustration and a little more of helplessness, the bewilderment at one's own predicament, the inability to change it. he's seen it in friends, in his crew, in the war. (other hands, strangers' hands, his own hands aching and hurting and never enough.) ]

At least it'll do so without infection, eh?

[ it's a first-aid kit he retrieves from the cabinet, after a moment's rummaging, small and white and neat and professional. it's a wonder that he knows what to pick out, when he pops it open on his way back to carol's side. ]

Do I want details?

I beat up a forest.

[she musters a small smile for him as she holds out the injured hand for tending, leaning her face on the other one, elbow on knee.]

It had it coming. Sorry about all this.

[that last is quiet, subdued. sakamoto has become the one carol leans on, and honestly she's lucky to have anyone at all; without him, she's sure she would've broken down by now, more than once. still, it's hard, and she hates it -- being that helpless.]

[ he kneels down before her, kit balanced on a knee while he looks over her hand, gets to work. disinfection, a cotton swab soaked in antiseptic, each touch light and taken with care. he cradles the hand in his own, calloused palm upward. ]

All that talk about being environmentally friendly, out the window. For shame.

[ his tone is light, though, gently teasing, an attempt at good humour. ]

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