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MAILBOX; inbox
House 1411
"Hello? Hello?? I'm sorry, there's nobody home right now. [ obnoxious peal of laughter: go ]
Ahh, that's right! Leave a message, and I'll get back to you. Right? That's how it goes? Aha, no telemarketers, please!
If you run up my bill, I'll have to ask you to pay the extra costs.
[ BEEP ]
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[ pause. it's too obvious it's spent frowning intently into the telephone ]
It's been volumes, has it not? Now that we ended up living on the same street, it would be a shame not to hang out a little more often. I bought a new set of UNO last week.
[ another long break. as an afterthought; ]
Or you could come over some time. Both of you, perhaps. It could even be like a formal dinner party! Considering this is most likely the only marriage you will ever have, you should enjoy the perks while you can.
[ beep beep beep ]
1/2
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Would the gorilla object to having yet another known terrorist spending time under his gorilla sanctuary roof? Aa? A dinner party's all well and good, but it won't be much of a party if my "wife" spends most of it receiving threats of death, incarceration, or legal charges against his person.
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[ ahhahahah you should see how he's treated by Gintoki on daily basis, perhaps it jaded his understanding of friendship forever ]
Ah, but the same applies if my "husband" is the one receiving death or incineration at the hands of your spouse.
[ because who has times for threats when there's chance for action ]
The house belongs to me just as much. If you do not trust them to act under a peace treaty, however, the gorilla can be taken out back or to see his dirty band of monkeys in the neighborhood.
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[ do these idiots really know what friendship is supposed to be for normal people? what is normal? they're as abnormal as they come ]
A fair deal. I can't guarantee Shinsuke'll behave himself in the slightest, but it's a fair deal.
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[ perhaps he wouldn't have gotten that eye/head injury if he hadn't fallen victim to that foreign fashion in his youth! pants, pshh ]
Mm. Perhaps we should let our respective other halves know of this possibility and examine the reaction. It is not much, but it might give us an idea what to expect.
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And you can't talk, Zura, you old-fashioned goat! You've never worn pants in your life, I bet! Never!
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[ he's sort of aware it's a really dumb and dangerous idea but he'd also like to see Takasugi in a (hopefully) peaceful environment again. Maybe they could unite against a common enemy here! There's hope, right? Right? ]
It's not Zura, it's Katsura! That is not true, I have worn some as a part of disguise. Ah, perhaps prolonged exposure to pants makes men take the wrong turn in life, is that it? It's part of the Shinsengumi uniform, and Gintoki has become more useless than ever...
[ don't even get him started on Takasugi. HE WAS SO YOUNG!! ]
[ DON'T YOU DARE FALL VICTIM TO THE EVIL OF PANTS TOOOOOO ]
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[ ever the optimist, zura. ]
And how are pants and different from hakama? They're just more snug! Allow more freedom of movement! Are you saying that anyone who dons even a pair of hardy peasant trousers are doomed to failure in life? Aahh?
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[ foreverrr ]
[ you're still worse though ]
It is the snugness, the snugness!! As your b*lls suffocate, your mind becomes clouded with rage and indecencies!
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